Kitten-Heeled Dreams and The British Fantasy Awards

Shortlisted for Best Newcomer at this year’s British Fantasy Awards, Teika Marija Smits reflects on the long and circuitous journey to “debuting” in the last 12 months.

About twenty years ago when I embarked on writing my first novel, I didn’t know any writers, writing groups or societies. I felt exhilarated by the process of writing but by the time I finished my book and read it through I realized it was, well, not quite what I’d envisaged… Unsure how to fix its many issues, I put it aside and instead focussed on my day job and preparing to give birth to my first child.

After my daughter was born, I found a few pockets of time in which I could write and, sure that my novel was pretty much unfixable, decided to instead write some articles about mothering and breastfeeding (which generally found homes in parenting magazines). Slowly, I began to write fiction again and tried my hand at short stories, some of which met with success. However, being rather overwhelmed by the reality of caring for a child, I knew that my desire to be a published author – and the kind of author who might go to bookish events while wearing pretty clothes and shoes not covered in baby sick – was very far off. One day, on the spur of the moment, I bought myself a second-hand pair of kitten heels (pictured) from this new website called eBay (yes, I’m that old!) as a kind of motivation to not give up on my dream. 

My road to publication was long and somewhat circuitous, and there were times when I considered selling the shoes because I didn’t think I’d ever be a published author, but eventually I got there. As yet, I haven’t worn the shoes to any event, but Fantasycon 2024 just *might* be the right time since I’ve been shortlisted for Best Newcomer for my debut short story collections Umbilical and Waterlore. 

Being shortlisted for this award means a lot to me because members of the British Fantasy Society – readers who adore all kinds of speculative fiction – have deemed my books worthy of inclusion on the shortlist, and this fills me with joy and a deep contentedness.

Another aspect about being shortlisted for Best Newcomer I really appreciate is the way it helps to highlight books published by indie presses. Having run my own small press some time ago, I’m aware that small indies are often run by just one or two people who work incredibly hard. These publishers do an amazing job given how they have to compete with the Big Five which have marketing budgets that indie press owners can only dream of. One easy way to gauge the discrepancy in the budgets is by the sheer number of Amazon/Goodreads reviews that traditionally published books receive compared with books published by the small indies.

(As an amusing aside, I was recently contacted by a traditionally published American author who asked me why my books had so few Amazon reviews. I had to humbly respond that a) I’m British therefore pretty much allergic to self-promotion and b) my publishers just didn’t have the budget, or the reach, of the traditional publishers. Then again, it might have been more fun to say something like, Well maybe cos they’re rubbish!) 

Anyway… I have no real expectation of winning the award – the other books on the shortlist look AMAZING (and, quite frankly, if I were a judge I would probably give the award to The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera because I am absolutely in love with the title!) – but if me being shortlisted gets more eyes on both Umbilical (published by NewCon Press) and Waterlore (Black Shuck Books) then I’ll feel as though I’ve won, because Ian Whates of NewCon Press and Steve Shaw of Black Shuck Books are absolute legends, and if it wasn’t for them hundreds of incredible authors’ stories wouldn’t have made their way into the world. And the world is better for those stories.

So if you’re at Fantasycon this year and happen to see me, please do say hi and (importantly) admire my shoes. No doubt they will appreciate being noticed, having patiently waited in a wardrobe for almost 16 years to be worn!

The British Fantasy Awards are held on Saturday night as part of Fantasycon. Grab your ticket to Fantasycon here, or check out the programme. Day and weekend tickets still available!