Ignore Whatever Anxiety Is Telling You: Fantasycon Is Welcoming

We’re entering the home straight: Fantasycon looms in the near-future! To get us ready, we asked previous attendees to tell us about their first time, or any abiding memories from cons of yore. Alethea Lyons’s first Fantasycon was last year, and ze found ready-made rooms full of kindred spirits. It made being away from home worth it.

Last year was my first Fantasycon – actually my first writer con of any kind – and I’m eagerly looking forward to this year!

It took me a long time to decide to go. Not only was social anxiety kicking in, but I adopted a 1-year-old in March and hadn’t been away from him for more than a few hours since he came home. The idea of leaving him for three whole days to travel to an unknown place full of strangers was terrifying. There was a lot of imposter syndrome. It was an expense, at a time when I wasn’t working because I was on maternity leave. I felt I had to justify putting money into my writing. My spouse has always been happy to invest in it, but I have always been uncomfortable spending on a career that makes so little.

But Fantasycon looked really cool! I was reading everything on the website and there were so many panels I wanted to go to. I hoped there would be valuable things I could learn and connections to make. (Spoiler alert: there were.) I put out feelers with some of my British writing friends and thankfully found a couple who had been before and were willing to adopt me into their social circles. So I bit the bullet, bought tickets, and booked a train and an Airbnb. I’d spent money. Now I had to go.

I was still nervous when I got there. My brain hates not being early, so of course I got there before anyone I knew. Everyone already there was so welcoming and kind. People saw I was on my own and went out of their way to say hello, stop for a book chat, and show me around. There was a lovely sense that it didn’t matter who you were – writer, reader, agent, publisher, accountant, anything. You were there so you automatically had something in common.

I found that persisted through the whole weekend. I spent some time hanging out with my newly-adopted friend groups (which was a massive relief at bigger events). Those groups got larger over the weekend as other stray fantasy lovers were taken in and given a literal seat at the table. People chatted while waiting for talks to start, without any awkwardness, even though I’m sure a whole bunch of us are introverted if dropped into a similar situation elsewhere.

The panels themselves were both educational and validating. I sat near the front and made copious notes, because I’m that kind of nerd. I put my hand up and asked follow-up questions (something I almost never did at school). It was interesting to hear from different perspectives, but also gratifying to find people who thought as I did. It can be rare in the ‘real’ world.

A few times, I approached an individual panellist later because we’d run out of time or I had a question that was very specific to my writing. No matter what background in publishing they came from, we were all equals and people were happy to chat and give advice. The imposter syndrome didn’t go away – when you’ve sold one book and it’s not out yet, and you’re chatting to a multi-times-bestselling author, I think a little imposter syndrome is justified – but really, it was just one writer talking to another.

The open and welcoming atmosphere at Fantasycon made me feel like part of a community. With so many of my writing friends being in the US and elsewhere, it was lovely to connect with people in person closer to home. I’ve kept many of those connections and I’m looking forward to seeing many of those new friends this year. Maybe I’ll even work up the courage to venture into the bar or out and about with folk.

So in the end, yes it was hard being away from my little Sprite, and yes it was daunting both to justify the cost and to meet so many new people, but it was so very worth it. I went through all the same arguments again in my head this year. I came to the same conclusion. I want to go and I’m excited!

Grab your ticket to Fantasycon here, or check out the programme.